A remarkable thing happened, here in our little valley where nothing much seems to be going on most days, where the grasses have grown tall and the seed-heads keep them heavy and nodding, sleepy, especially in the late afternoons.

By then, the hot summer sun has slipped behind the ridge in back of the house; then, the light filters through the cottonwoods along the little creek and the sounds of the day seem to quiet, distilling to the essence of summer. The wind in the leaves, the occasional cry of a hawk, the faintest trickling of water from the spring.

A mood of tranquility, a spell of summer, until it's broken by the cries of my kids, "Mom! Mom! Mom! Come quick!"

I rush out the front gate, where I'm met by 3 out-of-breath boys. Carter, the oldest, holds in his right hand a butterfly net with a plastic orange handle. His left hand is squeezing the net closed. It's clear they've caught something and I peer through the mesh to see what it might be.

It's a frog.

Their excitement is contagious and my heart begins to race, too. I can't remember the last time I've seen such a thing, maybe never? My girlhood wasn't overly-full of frogs. I think about what a frog might need: a home, some food, rocks, water? Don't they eat flies?

I rush into the house and return with an empty plastic container, the kind that once held an enormous amount of lettuce. We poke holes in the top with a stick and Carter deposits the frog into the new, temporary home.

We form a semi-circle around the plastic container, regarding its contents. Even as we watch him (and I don't know why I think it's a him), he's watching back, 2 deep, brown froggy eyes trained on us.

He's not really green; he's more brown, but whitish underneath. There are large, black spots ringed with black circles on either side of his spine. His legs are thick with muscles and his toes are long and slender. He seems big to me, the size of my fist, or larger.

He tries to hop and the whole plastic container jumps with him. We all leap back. My middle son Avery raises his hands to his face, his mouth forming a wide, startled, Oh! And I have to agree: Oh!

It's amazing, to me, all of it: that we'd be here, the 4 of us, on this airy summer day; that Carter, who I remember so clearly as a tiny baby, has grown into this brave and confident frog-catcher of a boy; that his brothers are next to him, the babies I'd waited for and hoped for and even still, when they finally arrived, I was totally unprepared.

I remember everything--the days spent in and out of the NICU and my one wish, an unspoken prayer that was so simple, yet it seemed impossible: Please let my babies know this world. Please let them grow big enough to have a life outside this hospital air, these beeping machines. Please let them breath real air, let them feel the softness of a purple summer twilight.

Never once did I imagine we'd be here: it was a dream too big to hope for. And since then, there have been so many summer twilights, and I am greedy for them, my prayer now is like a child bumping 2 fists together, which is sign language for more. I want more--I want these days to last forever.

And the frog. Sometime back in the spring, when I was making scrambled eggs one morning, or buttering toast, he was there in the creek. When I fed the wood stove against the cold and the little boys practiced letters and numbers, he was there. When I swept the floor, or loaded the washing machine, or tucked the boys into bed, all the while he was there.

As my boys grew so did this frog, near us, touched by the light from the windows in the evenings, or the rumble of the Red Flyer wagon as we pulled it past the creek. Sharing the same sunshine when the spring turned to summer, and witnessing the same thunderstorms playing across the sky. And I'm reminded of how all things are connected. How even when we sometimes can't see it, wonders exist right outside the front door.

Marky Mark is finally ready to settle down. The former pop star and current mega-hottie actor, fresh off the lukewarm if challenging film The Happening, is preparing to marry his girlfriend after all these years. According to People, Wahlberg and Rhea Durham are ready to make it official and have baby number three on the way! Why? Well, the former head of the Funky Bunch wants his family to be as successful as his movie career. With hits like Oscar-winning The Departed to his credit, Wahlberg may have to put in some daddy overtime!

Wahlberg, 37, says he is finally ready to give up life in the fast lane and work on the things that matter in life, like getting eight hours of sleep at night. Good, luck, Mark! Clearly this man has no idea that parenting entails giving up your sleep preferences until your kid goes to college.

My question is this: Does it take a marriage to make a family? The Jolie-Pitts would say no way, no day (although who knows, they may already secretly be married if rumors are true). Many other celebrity parents have admitted they have no plans or need to marry. What do you think? Is there ever a right time to "settle down" and marry whether or not you already have a family?

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Whether you're already a dad or thinking of becoming one, if you're a man who's part of a couple that's trying to conceive, you might just want to lay off soy for a while.

A recent small study found that men who consume even small amounts of soy each day may cut their sperm count by up to 40%. A half serving is as little as a half of a veggie burger. Researchers theorize that the isoflavones in soy, which act like oestrogen in the body, affect sperm production. Critics of the study say that other research in this area have found that soy doesn't have an impact on sperm production, and theorize that obesity may have played a role in this study's findings.

Either way, it's worth mentioning to your doctor if you're having trouble conceiving. Though women often bear the brunt of invasive testing when infertility is suspected, male factor infertility is both common and relatively easy to test. Researchers say that this study is not enough evidence for men to stop eating soy, but that if you're overweight, have irregular sperm counts, and eat soy regularly, it might be something to take a look at.

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While it's not standard operating procedure, it's not uncommon for an older gentleman who is done having kids to get a vasectomy. When it comes to having sex, I imagine it is a much more convenient and efficient method of birth control than using a condom. These days, however, it's not just granddads who are taking advantage of that convenience.

According to this article, younger men are opting to take control of the contraception situation themselves -- and permanently. Or at least semi-permanently, since vasectomies are, in theory, reversible. When the vasectomy is done at an early age and the reversal much later, however, the likelihood of restoring fertility is much lower than when the initial cut is made later and the reversal done sooner thereafter.

So why would a guy take such a chance with his potential fatherhood? Well, actually, it's because they don't want to take a chance on fatherhood. After half a dozen near-misses with an unwanted pregnancy, Tim Vass got snipped. Afterwards, he says, the sex was much better -- "It's like eating junk food and knowing you're not going to get fat."

Personally, I'm not in favor of any surgery, no matter how minor, that's not absolutely necessary. Of course, I've got the most reliable form of contraception -- kids. Still, even though I'm done having kids, I think I would rather use a condom than get snipped. But if I were young, and single, and had any chance of getting lucky, I could see how a vasectomy would be a tempting alternative to carrying a bunch of condoms around with me.

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Sometimes, a little vice makes all the difference. No, I'm not talking about drugs or sex or anything like that. I'm talking about things like playing escape-the-room games or surfing real estate websites to find the perfect (or at least affordable) vacation home. Or, in Stefanie Ilgenfritz's case, watching soap operas.

She writes, in the Wall Street Journal, about her secret love of soaps and how she looks forward during the week to watching her taped episodes on the weekends. For me, it's the occasional game (usually one posted on Lazy Laces) or reading some of my favorite webcomics (like xkcd or Questionable Content) or looking at houses for sale in the Russian River area and fantasizing about taking the kids up to the river on the weekends.

I'm sure there are just as many such guilty pleasures as there are parents, but these sorts of harmless fun -- while not exactly getting the chores done -- help us all keep our sanity. And, as I learned a long time ago in another life, you have to care for the caregiver.

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In some small way, I wish we'd never started with the whole Santa Claus things. My kids are so deeply invested in it that I'm afraid finding out the truth is going to break their little hearts. My hope is that they'll learn gradually, like I did, and not all at once. Christmas is still magical to me, and I know that all those years experiencing the mystery and magic of Christmas is part of that feeling.

Cole Gamble, over at StrollerDerby, disagrees with me. He calls Santa Claus, along with the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny, one of the 14 lies we should stop telling our children. Others include:

• Just tell me the truth and you won't get in trouble.
• Do this or you won't get [something big you possibly can't take away anyway].
• Big kids eat their vegetables; aren't you a big kid?
• You'll make more friends if you play nice.
• Mommy and Daddy are "taking a nap."

Cole says it's also statistically impossible that your child is the prettiest/most handsome in the world, because in fact, his children already hold that title. Since we've been talking a lot about lying this week, I think Cole's timing with this hilarious list couldn't have been better.

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We've all seen it -- a child says something wildly inappropriate and shocks the adults around her. Her parents shake their heads, "We don't know where she gets this stuff." It's happened to me, and because my kids spend nearly all day, every day with me alone, I can't look much farther than my own behavior.

I think that most, if not all, parents slip now and then -- a curse word slips out, voices get raised, carefully honed parenting techniques fly out the window in the face of fatigue and stress. Kids are resilient, they learn that grown ups make mistakes just like kids do. And we try harder not to make those mistakes the next time.

An Australian organization called ChildFriendly.org recently put out a children's rights video titled "Children See." It depicts parents at their worst -- abusive, violent, careless, angry -- as well as their children following their lead. It's disconcerting, disturbing, startling, but it's also an excellent reminder for even the most thoughtful parent that our children are watching us, every minute of every day.

Watch the video below, then share your thoughts with us in comments.

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Do you like baseball? Any kind of sport? What about traveling or other activities? If you said yes to any of the above, do you enjoy doing so with your spouse? A new report from a set of studies, some of which have been going on for more than a decade, seems to think that if you do, your marriage has more of a chance at surviving. You know the old saying "those that play together stay together?" Well, turns out there may be something to that after all. Howard Markman, co-director of the University of Denver's Center for Marital and Family Studies, believes that having fun with your spouse is essential to your marriage.

Seems like a no brainer, sure, but when was the last time you went on a date with your spouse? That's one of the questions asked of couples by Markman and Scott Stanley, the other co-director of the study. The results were interesting, especially when they found out that women and men have very different views on what constitutes a date. The last time you spent time with your spouse could seem forever ago due to the economy, raising kids, demanding careers and commutes, among other things. Still, I think any married couple will tell you it's critical to have fun in your shared lives if you want to get something meaningful out of your time together.

According to another study, marital interaction is actually on the decline. Paul Amato, a sociologist at the Pennsylvania State University, surveyed over 2000 couples in 1980 and another set of roughly the same amount in the year 2000 and found that the number of couples who consistently participated in leisure activities together declined. The good news? Markman, in a separate study, noted that cities with major league baseball teams had a divorce rate 28% less than cities who wanted one but didn't have one. Why? Well, it certainly gives married couples something to do! No comment on whether or not the couples were happier if their teams won the pennant.

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Actor, comedian and some-time eyedrop commercial maker Ben Stein, who once offered America the chance to win his money, has written a funny and telling article over at the New York Times. Most of us know by now the man who is most famous for asking over and over again, "Bueller?" is an economics genius, but did you hear what he has to say about love? Well, according to Mr. Stein, there is an economics to love, too.

Take for example what he says about junk bonds: "High-quality bonds consistently yield more return than junk, and so it is with high-quality love." I think we can all agree we've had that junk bond love experience and Ben perhaps knows what he's talking about. They're great for the short term, but they won't--and don't--last. Stein likens this to dating someone with a ton of problems and thinking you can change that person. Of course, he also notes that it's impossible to do that unless you control the market.

Stein also said something that is sure to stick, at least with me. That is that one should "fall in love in haste and depart at leisure." This means that once you've found a winner, whether in love or in a stock, that you stick with it. Commitment is everything, as is nurturing. This is true of love of and for adults, but I would bet the same is true of parenting. Fall in love with your spouse, fall in love with your children, and do everything you can to stay in love with them. Good advice? I'd say so--and take that payout to the bank.

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Actor Kevin Costner recently revealed his fear of fatherhood almost cost him his marriage. The Tin Cup star, already father to three children, was unsure of his ability to be an effective father to the children new girlfriend (now wife) Christine Baumgartner.

Christine made no bones about her desire to be a mother, and Costner admits it kept him from marrying her for years. Then the actor made a stark realization: lose a gorgeous young woman who wants to spend the rest of her life with you, or have another kid.

The pair wed in 2004 and Christine gave birth to the couple's first child, son Cayden, in 2007. I can appreciate Christine's candor--so many couples fail to discuss the crucial element of children before they get married. Either you want them, or you don't--and it's best to make that clear before you take a trip down the aisle. Looks like Christine got to have her cake and eat it too.

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Actor Gary Oldman has come clean about his preference for work. According to the actor, who was once married to Uma Thurman, he'd rather take on projects that let him spend more time with his children.

Oldman, star of the recent Batman films but normally known as the bad guy (True Romance, anyone?) sees like a tough guy in real life. Not so, at least not anymore. Maybe it was all those Harry Potter films. Although he alleges his ambition isn't what it once was, and that he'd rather spend quality time with his kids, starring in such huge hits as Batman Returns and the aforementioned Potter flicks is no small feat! Most actors would be lucky to even be considered for such roles.

So, looks like Oldman will get to have his proverbial cake and eat it too--only with his kids at the table! His main reason for signing on to Batman 2--director Chris Nolan lets him get home in time to put his kids to bed. That's a far cry from the man who was accused by Thurman of being,er, not so nice to her!

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And, if so, does it bug your neighbors? Do your neighbors go so far as to complain to you about it? And, if they do, do you care? I live in New York City, in Brooklyn, in an apartment. I am surrounded, in my condo complex, by people to the right of me, on top of me and below me. I also have a fifteen month old. To say that he is rambunctious would be putting it mildly. No one has complained that my son is loud. After all, there are also a set of two-year-old twins across the hall. Many parents, however, aren't so lucky. In an article in the Real Estate section of the New York Times, the author uncovers just how a lot of neighbors feel about their neighbors' kids and how those parents feel about the neighbors. Most try to get along and make it work. Most are sympathetic--we've all had a new baby cry throughout the night and we've all greeted the following day with colic.

Some parents, however, feel like they are caught between a very rough rock and a very hard place: to be the perfect parent while being the perfect neighbor. In Brooklyn, perhaps, it is accepted that maybe you cannot be both. In places like Park Slope, which we mock all the time for being full of the mommy mafia, where we joke they won't let you in without kids, at least you know you can go to a restaurant and they'll treat you like a human being when you bring your kids with you. Your neighbors generally have kids too or at least understand what you're going through and they refrain from giving you a hard time. After all, your kids will grow up--eventually.

Elsewhere it's not so easy to be a parent and a neighbor. And, I would say the trouble isn't limited to apartment dwellers, either. Anyone with a backyard that sits next to someone else's backyard might complain your kids are making too much noise in the pool, or are coming over into their property, etc. You might respond the guests at their non-stop parties get too drunk and throw lawn darts too close to your kids' heads!!!

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What do Rod Stewart, Michael Douglas, and Charlie Chaplin have in common? They all had children at an age when many dads are enjoying their grandchildren (60, 58, and 73, respectively, for those of you who are interested).

Though it's far more common to find a 70-year-old father than it is a mother of the same age, recent studies have shown that men have biological clocks too. And just like women, those clocks start to tick around age 35.

French researchers studied over 12,000 couple who were undergoing fertility treatments. What they discovered was that when a man is over the age of 35, the chance of his partner miscarrying increases. When a man is over the age of 40, the chances of a successful pregnancy drop even further. The culprit, say experts, is DNA damage to the sperm.

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Sure, they drive you nuts. They step on every last nerve and expect you to thank them for it. But, it's all worth it, right? Children bring so much joy into our lives that we couldn't possibly imagine living without them, right? They are our reason for being; they complete us. Right? Anyone?

But seriously, do kids make us more or less happy? Apparently, it's the latter -- they make us less happy. At least that's the conclusion a number of researchers have come to in recent years. One theory is that because couples are marrying and having children later, they are getting more of a taste for the footloose-and-fancy-free life and the responsibilities of parenthood just don't compare.

While they may very well make us less happy, it seems to me that the easy path isn't always the most rewarding. Certainly, sitting on the couch watching television is easier than climbing to the top of half dome, but which is the more rewarding in the long run? I'll take the blisters and backache, thanks.

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When I was single, online matchmaking was pretty much unheard of. There were a few sites where you might hook up with another person (anyone remember Prodigy.com?), but chances were good that person wasn't actually single. Or employed. Or remotely attractive. Things have come a long way since then and online matchmaking is quite popular and for some, very successful. And now, online dating has taken the next, logical step: online marriage counseling.

Created by Les and Leslie Parrot, the same people who brought you eHarmony.com, eHarmony Marriage is a computerized program promising to help couples communicate better, rekindle romance, and resolve conflicts more compassionately. Leslie Parrott is a marriage a family therapist who says that this is the perfect solution for those who aren't quite ready for traditional counseling, but want to improve their relationship.

The program involves each partner answering an online questionnaire covering everything from finance to spirituality. The responses generate a report outlining the couple's strengths and weaknesses and a proposed marriage action plan. "It will reveal where you guys are really strong and where you will find the most benefit if you invest in this area," Parrott says.

As far as the investment, the program costs $150 and takes six to eight weeks to complete. Dr. Parrott admits that online therapy might not be the best choice for couples on the brink of divorce, but sees it as a cost-effective option for those needing to open up the lines of communication.

I tend to agree. Whether you get it from a book, a counselor's office, or online, learning to communicate better is pretty much the key to everything, right?

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